How do I protect my parents from scams?

Why warnings alone do not work

Almost every family starts with the same approach — 'Dad, don't give anyone your information' — and almost every family finds it insufficient. Scam calls do not arrive as obvious threats; they arrive as a bank protecting you, a grandchild in jail, or Medicare fixing your card. Under emotional pressure, general caution collapses. What survives is a specific, pre-agreed procedure that does not require judgment in the moment.

There is a second reason warnings backfire. If your parent feels judged, the next suspicious call becomes a secret, and secrecy is precisely the condition every scam needs. Make it explicit and repeat it often: no one will ever be angry, and calling you is always the right move.

What should I set up this week?

1. 1Turn on carrier spam filtering — AT&T ActiveArmor, Verizon Call Filter, or T-Mobile Scam Shield — plus 'Silence Unknown Callers' on iPhone or spam filtering on Android.
2. 2Register their numbers at donotcall.gov, so remaining unknown calls are more clearly suspect.
3. 3Agree on a family safe word, shared in person, used for any emergency money request. Never text it.
4. 4Freeze their credit at Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. It is free and does not affect existing accounts or benefits.
5. 5Ask their bank to add you as a trusted contact, and ask about alerts for large withdrawals, new payees, and wire requests.
6. 6Tape a short card by the phone: the bank's fraud number, your number, and one sentence — 'I don't give information to callers. I'll call back.'

What should we agree on as household rules?

• No money, gift cards, or account details move during an incoming call — ever, for any reason.
• Any request that mentions secrecy is automatically false and gets shared immediately.
• Unknown numbers go to voicemail. Voicemail is a filter, not rudeness.
• Government agencies write letters. A phone call claiming to be the IRS, SSA, or Medicare gets hung up on.
• Anything requiring a decision 'today' gets a 24-hour pause. Real institutions can wait; scams cannot.
• If someone is unsure, they call one designated family member first. Nobody is ever criticized for calling.

What financial guardrails help most?

1. 1Add a trusted contact at the bank and at any brokerage. It lets institutions call you if something looks wrong, without giving you account control.
2. 2Turn on transaction alerts by text or email for withdrawals over a set amount, new payees, and international transfers.
3. 3Keep a small day-to-day checking account and keep savings in a separate account that has no linked debit card or Zelle.
4. 4Consider a durable power of attorney prepared with an elder-law attorney while everything is calm — not after a crisis.
5. 5Review statements together every quarter, including Medicare Summary Notices, treating it as routine paperwork rather than surveillance.
6. 6Freeze credit permanently and lift it temporarily only when needed.

How do I have the conversation without offending them?

Lead with your own vulnerability rather than theirs. 'I almost fell for a text about a package last week — can we set up a family safe word so nobody in this family gets caught?' frames it as a household upgrade instead of a competency test. Bring one task, not a lecture: set up the call filter, or place the credit freeze, and leave. Repeat quarterly. Families that treat scam defense as ordinary maintenance — like changing smoke detector batteries — get far better cooperation than families who raise it only when something has gone wrong.

What if I think they are already being scammed?

1. 1Ask questions before making accusations, and listen for the pattern: urgency, secrecy, unusual payments.
2. 2Contact the bank's fraud line together and ask for a hold on outgoing transfers.
3. 3Report at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and ic3.gov, and call the National Elder Fraud Hotline at 833-372-8311 for case guidance.
4. 4If exploitation is ongoing and they cannot or will not stop, contact Adult Protective Services in their county.
5. 5Preserve evidence — messages, receipts, phone numbers — and expect follow-up recovery scams.